Work in Progress

Just because a family decides to keep their children at home instead of sending them to school does not mean that mom (or dad) is instantly blessed with a deep well of patience. In fact, being around your children all of the time may cause your patience to be stretched even thinner. Some of us struggle with this more than others. 

I struggle hourly.


Dear Daughter,

When I have asked (and told) you at least a thousand times over the last four years NOT to drag your giant Tinkerbell blanket through the house, or leave it in the middle of the kitchen floor, it wasn't because I didn't want you to be warm.  It was not because I did not want you to have the comfort of your soft, cuddly blanket.

I have slipped on it and tripped over it more times than I can count. You have dragged train tracks, coloring pages, pieces of waffles that didn't quite make it to your mouth at breakfast, shoes and countless other objects through the house. You have knocked over brooms and chairs and most recently my expensive, very-much-loved, vintage spinning wheel.

When I heard it clattering to the floor, I may have overreacted a bit. When I discovered the leg was broken, I may have yelled more than I meant to. I will admit it. I am sorry. I was wrong. I was a poor example. I try to have patience and be kind, even in my anger, but sometimes I just lose it. Completely. It happens more often that I like to admit. I felt little sympathy for your tears. I was so angry. Hadn't I just told you half an hour ago to stop dragging that darn blanket through the house?

After I calmed down, my empathy kicked in and I realized how awful you must feel. I went to you and apologized and accepted your apology. I love you so much, Ryleigh and I am sorry that my anger hurt you. I am a work in progress, and I need your patience the same that you need mine. Thank you for being so understanding.

Love Always,
Your Mom

P.S.

The spinning wheel is in rehab.

I had every intention of writing here, but suddenly everything felt so mundane and so unworthy of blogging. It seems that the kids and I have a routine. Maybe "rut" is more accurate.

We get up in the morning. Ry gets breakfast for herself and Sean-- usually waffles or muffins from the freezer. The kids watch something on PBS or Netflix, I drink my coffee and nurse the baby. The kids play or color until lunchtime.

I make lunch. After lunch is electronics play-time. The kids got iPad minis for Christmas. I loaded them up with educational games. Things that I thought would help the 4 year old learn his letter sounds, more about shapes, something. Do you know what he does? He plays Angry Birds and Bad Piggies. He is obsessed with them. My husband was getting frustrated with it. Shouldn't he be learning?

As we watched Sean play, we discovered something. He is really good at these games that use physics and invention to get to the finish line. He builds rocket and soda water propelled go-carts. He calculates and measures the arch for certain sized birds, accounting for weight and gravity, to hit in the exact place he needs to make a structure topple. He is learning about force, gravity and trajectory. Beyond the physics, he is learning to be persistent. Having a rough time and can't get your piggy over the hill? Keep trying!

Our older child is starting to gravitate away from electronics, which is somewhat surprising. I always thought that she was as much of a technophile as I am. After lunch most days, she gets out her scrapbook or her drawing supplies instead.  I am encouraging her to slow down and spend time telling her story on each of her scrapbook pages.When she does get on the computer, she enjoys BrainPop Jr. and building games on Scratch. When she says she is bored, I tell her to get out her Brain Quest workbooks, and those usually keep her busy for a couple of hours.

I think that my goal as the weather improves is to get out of our rut and get out of the house more.